the fuzzy clarification of the unknown...

This is a picture of Rachel, my brother David and my sister Emily. It is totally unrelated to my post, but what is a post without a picture?

I sort of freaked out when Rachel's social worker asked me to drive back the 40 minutes to the Family Care Network office to meet with my team about what had happened in the meeting today. It seemed like the kind of thing that proceeds bad news. In the interim, when I was trying not to freak out, I reread II Samuel 22 and came away with an amazing thought. God is my husband. How would my view of things change if I knew that someone as committed and as understanding of who I was as a husband, was orchestrating plans for my life?

In the end they agreed to talk with me about the meeting via phone. Rachel's social workers, and my parent partners were on speaker phone as we talked things through. As usual the outcome was not simple or easy to explain. DSS stated that they are not offering reunification services to Rachel's mom because they stand by the loss of parental rights that happened years before. They did however let the team of people working with Anita (Rachel's mom) know that she can get a lawyer and go forward in trying to get rights back for Rachel if she wants. It appears that she intends to do this. The burden of proof is on her to prove that she can love and protect Rachel in the way she needs to. At this time Rachel's brother, who lives with Anita, is not ready to even see Rachel, so Anita has to think about how that will work. Everyone is in agreement that it is in Rachel's best interest to have a relationship with her mom, and that her placement with me is a very good thing. They asked me if I was willing to continue being Rachel's foster mother, even though there is some possibility that it will lead to reunification rather than adoption. Of course I will but it is hard for me! The other thing we discussed was how to talk with Rachel about these things, as well as how we can proceed with caution as we encourage the growth of Rachel's relationship with her mom. My team of people went out the way to let me know that I have a voice in this process, and to let me know what is going on. I am SO thankful for that! Even in the face of that news, I have continued to feel a lot of peace. The beginning of the meeting was hard for me, but after a few tears and further discussion, I decided it was what I knew it would be, the fuzzy clarification of the unknown.