walking by faith

I have been so thankful for my little apartment. This is the view outside our door looking over to our neighbor. I've tried to get out of living in this apartment a couple times but God keeps showing me that this is where he wants me to be. It is affordable, clean, and has some character (always important to me). I always feel so nervous about the noise we make because we have really quiet (and not to mention quirky... and nosy) neighbors. Because of this I did not think this would be an ideal place to have Rachel, and my pride desired a house. It seems like other foster parents have houses, and that I should too. Well God had other plans, and it turns out that I love living here. It's in a great location, tucked away near downtown, on a quiet street with a great view! Even though it's small, I love that we don't really need anything more (because we have nowhere to put it) and it doesn't take long to clean!

This week all kinds of people, (friend's, social workers, other foster parents...) have come over. They have all commented on our place, and I have been able to really be hospitable here, which is really important to me (and fun too!). Rachel too has commented that she likes living here which surprises and thrills me. Apparently I thrive a little too much on other's approval because these comments have meant so much to me. I am sure we'll eventually move, but having been at home so much lately I have had to time to steep in this place and keep making it my own. I am enjoying this space! It feels like home.

I go back to work tomorrow.
I am already dealing with the balancing act of scheduling, but I am most fearful about having less patience and energy.
Tonight was rough with Rachel. I talked to my friend's Wendy and Alina about it via phone (and at the point of tears). Wendy reminded me that Rachel was testing my love for her, and Alina prayed for me. It was amazing! I witnessed a real change of heart in both Rachel and myself, and the beauty of reaching out for help. Our night ended on a good note, with some good lessons possibly being learned in the process. Though I hope Rachel learned something tonight, I am more certain that tonight was a good reminder that God is the one who will sustain my heart as my life gets busier. I have a hard time letting go of control, but it's a necessity for my sanity so I am working on it. It think this is called walking by faith, not by sight! Now that I've moved past the hard part of the day and my kid is in bed, I recommend it!