Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I have some pictures from today but I don't have the energy to download them now. I wanted to say thank you all for your prayers! It is a thrill to see how immediately God is answering my prayers and the prayers of others in his journey with Rachel. She has had a really difficult week, but today she did so well in the midst of a long day with my family. I know this was a direct result of prayer!It is my own attitude of annoyance, and desire to react (rather than respond) that has been scaring me the most during these difficult days. Some time with my friends Linda and Tess last night, and their prayers for me, made a world of difference in both my heart and Rachel's heart today. I feel like God keeps answering my prayers with astonishing speed. I feel like He is standing by to help. After a year filled with feeling like God's only word to me was "wait" this is a surprising and delightful discovery!
Tonight before she went to bed Rachel said, "Brooke I think we need some cuddle time." I am big on cuddle time and I ask her if she wants special time with me just about every night, but it was fun that she brought it up tonight. So I just held her, and rocked her, and she fell asleep in my arms. That scene might seem weird to you because Rachel is 13, but she has missed a lot stages of bonding and emotional development, and so I often do things with her that seem like something a younger child would need. It is amazing how even though I do these things to help her, they are important for me too. Tonight, after a difficult week, it was so fun to look at her while she slept. I looked beyond her makeup, at every pour, the shape of her face, every hair and just studied her. I felt the weight of her as she fell asleep, fully trusting me to hold her close and protect her. Even though she is so grown up in the area of life experiences, she is so child-like in her emotions. What a delightful moment this was, getting the privilege of rocking her and hold her in a way so new to both of us. I keep thinking of the significance of all this. I think of the importance of delight and in these moments. I am a student of delight. I pour myself into knowing Rachel and delighting in her. These moments are so important to help me operate out of delight rather that criticism. These are precious moments that you will never see a picture of because all the best snapshots are in my heart.
In summary on this day of thanks, I am thankful for Rachel, and this weird life I am leading. I am thankful for my family who has been so supportive and willing to be uncomfortable. I am thankful for my friends who have shown me so much grace and prayed so hard. Even though I have no words to do justice to the enormity of this gift, I am thankful for God's intervention in my life! Help me to have a thankful heart Oh Lord, help me.
No comments:
Post a Comment