Friday Night Football

Here is a very tired but cute Rachel and I after going the big high school football game on Friday night. She was sporting face paint and all!

We went to a game about a month ago which was hands down, the worst night Rachel and I have had to date. I was in a terrible mood to begin with (it had been a long day) and Rachel was nervous because it was only the second time she had met my family. Going to the game was entering a world where I had little control. Which was not good because Rachel was hyper, nervous, and among her peers. Rachel's behavior with kids her age is one of the most discouraging and overwhelming areas to me. She often demonstrates a lack of ability to put herself in the place of others (probably as a result of her poor attachments) and because she is insecure she is mean, hyper, and obsessed with her appearance. The fact that she is a junior high girls doesn't really help. It doesn't really seem to connect with her that being nice to people is the best way to assure they will like you. On top of those issues it turned out almost every middle schooler in our town is allowed to wander around these games with no parent, giving long hugs to the boys/girls they "like," yelling "hi" to anyone they might remotely know, and creating lots of drama to talk about at lunch on Monday (fights, cussing people out, "making out"). Well add all these facts together and you can see the receipt for disaster. I seriously considered never going to another football game again.

After a lot of compromise on Rachel's part we tried again and it was GREAT! Yes, it was different than the days of going by myself, and we still had our part in the middle school drama, BUT Rachel sat with me almost the whole game, responded to my limits, treated me with respect, and even wanted me close by her side. This was amazing!

For all the moments when I feel that I have an impossible task that will never make a difference, I remember these moments of improvement, both big and small, to remind me that this love stuff makes a difference. There are so many environments where Rachel just doesn't know what is and is not ok, from family dinners, to being a friend. Sometimes it's overwhelming to try to tackle all these things but hey, it's just one thing at a time. Oh yeah, and sometimes it works! You may think I am just talking about behaviors but if you could have been there you would know it's her heart that's changing. She's daring to hope that she can trust me, and that makes all the difference.