I called in sick today.

I have been extremely exhausted, struggling with allergies and back problems and I decided that constituted being sick. For some reason this last week had left me feeling very concerned about what people think about me. My exhaustion, and not being totally focused on the Lord has left me vulnerable. My pride is surfacing and turning to insecurity. To fight this I have started praying that God would help my identity to rest in Him alone... and I called in sick this morning.

A few hours without work today & I feel like a new woman! I was able to go to an appointment with the therapist who works with my girl. She specializes in attachment issues and has adopted a child herself. She and I were both able to express similar excitements and concerns. The timing of this transition coincides with another recent decision that my girl should have more contact with her biological family. The therapist and I discussed how overwhelming all of these things are on there own, much less thrown at her in the span of a week or two. The lack of time constraint, and open communication with someone wise who knows this situation left me feeling SO EXCITED! This will be a process, my girl has every reason to test my love and commitment she has never had a living situation last. That being said, my maternal instinct is in full force. I can't wait!

Foster care is often very political, and this might be the first time in the history of this particular girl that the majority of the adults in her life (therapists, social worker's, foster parents) are on the same page. Yesterday we had a meeting to make the plan for her to move in with me official. We all thought it would be a formality and then out of the blue one of the team members objected. Thankfully God gave me calm and logical words for the lady, and because everyone else was on board with the plan, she agreed to support it. This process involves so many ups and downs every day, but let me tell you a little rest goes a long way in helping me deal with this roller coaster.

This picture shows me holding baby Karis (Matt and Alina's baby). I love it because you can see my friends in the background, all pitching in to make dinner. I have been so blessed by all my friendships both near and far. My roommates, Matt and Alina,Jake and Wendy and Betho have been so supportive and putting up with a very frazzled me. My friends far away have been emailing, calling, and sending me letters. It is wonderful to feel all of your love and know that you are praying for me.